My Sweet Baby Girl

It's been 5 months today since we lost our baby girl, Bayli. I long for her and miss her. I'm still struggling with some issues that surround our great loss, but I've learned to give it to Him instead of trying to do it myself. It's just not possible.

I know that God gave us Bayli for a reason. Even if it was but a short time. I felt her in my womb, and I still think occasionally I "feel" her. Some of that could be because I WANT to feel her. My faith has grown stronger since we said goodbye to our daughter. I just know that the closer to Christ I am, the closer to Bayli I am. I am at peace knowing that Bayli will never have to bear this enormous heartache.

Most everyone knows the 23rd Psalm:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul, he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies, thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

I pray every day because prayer works. Just give it to God. The hard part is not taking it back once we've given it to him. We weren't designed to be able to "carry" the weight of the world. I was blessed during my suffering. I asked God to please take away the loneliness of sorrow, and he reminded me that I have the most compassionate family and friends in the world. God is in control. We may not get the answer that we want, but God hears our prayer and has a plan for us.

Sometimes I fall short and find myself praying for things that I want, but then I stop and realize that just because it's something that I want, doesn't mean that it's something that I NEED! God provides everything I NEED, and my cup runneth over!